Let’s Have a Talk…

Honestly, I haven’t felt like this in a while.

I almost forgot how it felt.

I went months where I absolutely hated being a mom and I’m not afraid to admit it. Today was just one of those days. One of those days where my kids were whining and fighting over everything. Where they were completely indecisive in the drive thru (yes, we had fast food). Where we spent an hour in Walmart when we were only there to pick up one thing. Where we went to the park but they both needed my help swinging, doing the monkey bars, and catching them on the slide. At the same time. Where 10 mins into our park trip Scarlett pooped and I was just done. I packed up two screaming kids and drove home. I forgot to mention I was completely broke out from an allergic reaction and itching all over. After finally getting home they tossed and turned in bed for 30+ mins. Finally, here I am, dosing off from the Benadryl, trying to give you a peek into my life.

Most moms are scared to admit they hate it. I’m not saying I hate it everyday, and I’m definitely not saying I hate my kids. I love my kids more than anything in this world, literally. But some days I am tired. I don’t feel good. I don’t want to help my kids do every little thing. I don’t want to hear “mommy” ONE more time. I don’t want to have two little girls completely depend on me when I am still trying to figure it out for myself. Being a mom is hard work. It takes a lot of patience and a whole lot of love. But to be able to love and care for these babies you have to take care of yourself first, mama. I know you’ve heard it before. But I’m serious! Drop them off at grandmas for a weekend so you can sleep or go out with friends. Or EVERY weekend. Go on a vacation with your hubby. Wake up early to enjoy your cup of coffee while its still hot. Stay up late to indulge in your favorite snacks without little hands intruding you.

Do what makes you happy and don’t ever feel guilty about it!

I know there are mamas out there who feel the same way. Maybe every once in awhile. Maybe every single day. Maybe it’s you. You had an expectation for what motherhood was going to be like and it didn’t turn out anything like you had planned. Maybe you are a single mama trying to figure out how to make ends meet and do the job of two every single day. Trust me, I know. I was there too. The problem is not that we feel this way. The problem is that we are shamed for feeling this way. If we dare utter the words “I hate being a mom” we are instantly judged. A good mom would never say that, right? But maybe if we would come together instead of shaming each other we would realize we have more in common than we think. Yeah, you might of breast fed and used cloth diapers while someone else bottle fed and co slept. You might parent completely different than I do, but I am sure we can all agree on one thing…being a mama is hard work. It never gets easier.

You wouldn’t imagine how amazing it feels to just get it off your chest. So that’s what I want for you. I want you to feel safe hating motherhood. You are not less of a mom. I know you don’t love your kids any less. Embrace it. Admit it. Express it. I promise it will make it easier.

I am so thankful the universe sent me these little aliens to help me grow, evolve, and expand my knowledge. They teach me something new every single day. No matter how hard it gets or how many days I scream “I hate being a mom!!!”, I will always love my kids more than anything.

And surprisingly, since getting this huge burden off my chest, I have started to love motherhood more than ever.